IMPRESSIVE OR INEPT, 2/12/09
By: Matt Spiegel
Many times a game’s outcome is difficult to dissect…for you. You see, using deductive reasoning and a snappy theme song, we can effectively determine whether one team has been IMPRESSIVE in victory, or the other has been INEPT in defeat. Other sports issues fit the format as well, as we go 2nd level with attempted acuity. Let’s examine 3 scenarios using the I-or-I microscope.
A-ROD’S APOLOGY TUGS AT SOME OF YOUR HEARTSTRINGS
Alex Rodriguez has come clean…sort of. In his well orchestrated admission to Peter Gammons, he owned up to 3 seasons of steroid cheating, though the positive tests are only out there for one. That extra communication, and the quickness with which he showed contrition, led many to applaud his forthright apology, and to credit him for standing up like a man. Is that credit deserved?
Alex Rodriguez; to be commended for telling us the truth?
Or Alex Rodriguez; to be derided for the circumstances in which his “truth” came out.
Please don’t be fooled by this actor. He apologized only because he had to, and he has lied so willingly in the past that we simply cannot take this admission at face value. He says the pressure and desire to be the best made him cheat in Texas. That pressure and desire wasn’t there in New York these past 5 years? Don’t forget that before any of this came out, A-Rod’s legacy was already locked as a me-first, impossibly selfish pretty boy. His apology changes nothing.
NORTH CAROLINA RIPS APART DUKE
In the latest edition of the undeniably electric UNC-Duke rivalry, Carolina went to Duke’s home court and blew them away in the second half, putting up 101 points and winning on the road by 14. Carolina is preposterously talented, but after this game are we left with the idea that they’re terrific, or that Duke has been overrated all year long?
North Carolina; ready to take their rightful place atop the college hoops universe?
Or Duke; exposed as a bit of a myth on their home floor, and falling back to 2nd tier status deservedly?
North Carolina is blessed with the most talent of any team in the country, with only UConn a possible exception. But Carolina does not play consistent enough D. In the 2nd half in Durham the other night, Duke fell apart them selves defensively, and they became erratic on the offensive end. I lack belief in UNC overall, and admittedly that informs my belief that Duke is not a final four team, nor a final 8 team. In fact, they could easily be a round 2 upset waiting to happen.
THE NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND NOW FEATURES HORSE
Added to the pageantry of All Star Weekend in the NBA, to the slam-dunk contest and the 3-point shootout, is the old school driveway staple, HORSE. The greatest players in the universe, trying to match each other’s absurd shot making. My best HORSE shot was “on one foot, left leg crossed over right knee, right handed, off the glass.” I could beat these people.
HORSE in all-star weekend; a relatable staple of our youth that’s absolutely worthy of experimental inclusion?
Or HORSE in all-star weekend; a further example of lowbrow festivities, providing another reason to skip the whole damn thing? INEPT
What’s wrong with you, you don’t like HORSE? Forget for a minute that it’s going to be called GEICO, and that players will have to spell that word out. Instead, think of your childhood, or mine, in which dad comes out of the house, hits a lefty hook from 18 feet, and gets in his car and drives away. I can’t wait to see these guys try 20-foot underhand bank shots trying to give each other an “E.” I’m in.
Agree, disagree? Are my rulings I or I? Comment here, or hit me at firstname.lastname@example.org.